What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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