What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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