What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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