What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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