What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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