What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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