What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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