What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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