What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .

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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!

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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."

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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.

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