What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What did the guitarist do when his teacher told him to turn his amplifier on?

He caressed it softly and told it that he loved it

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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