What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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