What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Nacho cheese.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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