What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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