What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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