What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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Who can hold up a bus with one hand?

A crossing guard.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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