What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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