What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why did the oreo go to the dentist?

To get his filling!
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What do you get when you cross a roll of wool and a kangaroo?

A woolen jumper
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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