What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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And the mermaid, that was weird. What was she wearing in math class?

An Algae-bra
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin!
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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