What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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