What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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How do you make a rock float?

Put it in a glass with some ice cream and root beer.
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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