What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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