What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What do you call a cow that plays a musical instrument?

A Moo-sician!

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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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