What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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A seal walks into a club...
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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