What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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