What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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