What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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