What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why did the rooster cross the road?

To prove he wasn't a chicken!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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