What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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Why did the cat go to Minnesota?

To get a mini soda
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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