What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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