What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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