What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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