What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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