What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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How do we know the Indians were the first people in North America?

They had reservations.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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