What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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