What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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