What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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