What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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