What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him/her.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

You crack me up!
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