What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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