What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!

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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.

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What do you see when you look into Trump's eyes?

Answer: The back of his head.
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How many UNIX hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.


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