What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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What's the best parting gift?

A comb.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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