What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many freelance biotechnologists does it take to change a light bulb?

One; she designs the bulb to crawl up the wall, unscrew the old one, and screw itself in.
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Why are kindergarten teachers so good?

They can make little things count.
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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