What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many Italians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I dunno exactly, but my brother's girlfriend's father's boss's secretary's sister's next-door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Sergeant-of-Arms's nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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