What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.

A': None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why do hummingbirds hum?

Because they don't know the words.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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