What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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How many Bratzlaver Chassidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find one that burned as brightly as the first one.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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