What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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What has four legs and goes "Oom, Oom"?

A cow walking backwards
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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