What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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How do you catch a unique bird?

Unique up on it.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many cats does it takes to screw in a light bulb?

You can throw away your light bulbs. Just douse the cat with gasoline, light it up with a match, and you'll have all the light you need. (Comment: BLEAH!)
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment.
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What did Tennessee?
The same thing Arkansas.
What did Delaware?

Her New Jersey.
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