What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many lawyer jokes are there?

Only three. The rest are true stories.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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