What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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