What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What's a tree's favorite drink?

Rootbeer.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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