What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.

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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.

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What do you call a young army?

Infantry.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!

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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.

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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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