What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What would you call a humorous knee?

Fun-ny!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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