What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How many Sound Recordists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

WHAT?
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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