What goes under your feet and over your head?

A jump rope.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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How does the ocean say hello?

It waves.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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How many frat guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three: One to screw it in, and the other two to help him down off the keg.
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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