What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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How do you make Holy water?

Take regular water and just boil the hell out of it.
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What do planets like to read?

Comet books!
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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