What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on what you want to change it into.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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