What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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How do you fix a broken vegetable?

With tomato paste.
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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