What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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