What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?

One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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What do fish take to stay healthy?

Vitamin sea.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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