What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What did the candle say to the other candle?

I'm going out tonight!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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