What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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