What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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