What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How does a pig go to hospital?

In a hambulance.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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