What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What is Donald Trump "really" trying to do?

Make America Hate Again.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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