What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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When is it bad luck to be followed by a black cat?

When you're a mouse.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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