What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?

She stole his heart.
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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