What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do clarinetists use for birth control?

Their personalities.

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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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