What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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