What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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