What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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What do you call a gorilla wearing earmuffs?

Anything you like, he can't hear you.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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