What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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