What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Do you know what the Queen's father was called?

King.
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