What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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