What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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Where did the farmer take the pigs on Saturday afternoon?

He took them to a pignic.
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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