What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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