What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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What does cheese say to itself in the mirror?

Halloumi.
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How many bureaucrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to assure the everything possible is being done while the other screws the bulb into the water faucet.
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