What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?

They wear snowcaps.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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