What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

None. That's a software problem.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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