What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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