What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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