What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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What kind of motorcycle does Santa ride?

Holly Davidson.
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