What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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