What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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