What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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