What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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