What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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How is Donald Trump going to shut down the Department of Education?

By renaming it Trump University.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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