What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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