What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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