What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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