What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

He gave her a ring.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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