What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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