What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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