What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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What is Donald Trumps favorite song?

ICE ICE Baby......
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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