What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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How many does it take to screw in a light bulb?

10. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.

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How many Stanford professors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One to write a paper claiming that light is a pig whitey invention, one to organize a Darkness Studies program, and one hundred to protest the Diablo Canyon Nuclear Generating Station.

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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!

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What kind of cat should you never play games with?

A cheetah

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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Dorian Gray Jokes,

they never get old!
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.

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