What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

You can unscrew a light bulb.
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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