What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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When the attendant asked the photon if it had any bags to check

It said Nah, I'm traveling light.
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What's an alligator's favorite drink?

Gator-Ade.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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