What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did the alien say when he was out of room?

I'm all spaced out!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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