What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many militarists does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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