What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a Disney Princess that supports Donald Trump?

Snow White Supremacist.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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