What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. There's a primitive for that.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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