What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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