What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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