What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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Why can't Donald Trump be a Lannister?

Because he never pays his debts.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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