What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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What day of the week tastes the best?

Sunday!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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