What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What do Michael Jackson and Malt Whiskey have in common?

They both come in tots.
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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