What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a guy who's born in Columbus, grows up in Cleveland, and then dies in Cincinnati?

Dead.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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