What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked.

'It's not unusual' he replied.

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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the computer squeak?

Someone stepped on its mouse.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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