What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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"Mommy, everyone says I look like a werewolf."

"Please be quiet and comb your face."
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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