What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many Cabbage Patch dolls does it take to change a light bulb?

The question is irrelevant, since you couldn't find the dolls even if you knew how many. (Note: Well, this was a good joke in 1983-84. . . .)
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