What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.

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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet

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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?

A gigolo only screws one person at a time.
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