What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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