What has a bed that you can't sleep in?

A river.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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