What has a head but no body?

A nail.

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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.

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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.

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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.

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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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Now that Macy's has severed ties, with Donald Trump, how can the average American look like the President?

By hunting and killing their own hair piece.
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