What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many college girls does it take to change a light bulb?

That's "women," you unfunny jerk!
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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