What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

Many hands make light work.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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What do you get if you cross an insect with the Easter rabbit?

Bugs Bunny.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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