What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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Where does an elephant pack his luggage?

In his trunk
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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