What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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