What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What do you call a cow with three legs?

Lean beef.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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