What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That's not funny!!!
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What has four legs, a trunk, and sunglasses?

A mouse on vacation.
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What airline does Donald Trump aspire to fly?

Hair Force One!
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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