What has four legs but never stands?

A Chair!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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There was a rooster sitting on a top of a barn. If it laid an egg, which way would it roll?

Roosters don't lay eggs!
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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