What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What's a light-year?

The same as a regular year, but with less calories.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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