What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the tomato blush?

Because he saw the salad dressing!
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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How does an attorney sleep?

First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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What do you call a bruise on a T-Rex?

A dino-sore
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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