What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do cats and dogs call Santa Clause?

Santa paws!!!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is a ghost's favorite pie?

Booberry pie!
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