What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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There was an explosion at a cheese factory in France...

all that was left was de brie.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is the best thing to do if you find a gorilla in your bed?

Sleep somewhere else.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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