What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, provided there is a programmer around to explain how to do it.
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What do you call a slow skier?

A slopepoke!
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What did Michael Jackson tell the little boy?

"The way you make me feel, it really turns me on!"
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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