What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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