What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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