What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Two girls were born on the same day, same year, same parents, except they are not twins. Explain:

They are triplets.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. But when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank,

proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak and heat it.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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