What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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How did Ben Franklin feel after discovering electricity?

Shocked.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Why are babies good at soccer?

Because they dribble!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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