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What has holes all over and holds water?
A sponge!
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
It might be your bicycle.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?
He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?
Time to get a new bed
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?
He got caught peeping on a test.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?
Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,
and then it dawned on me.
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Where do horses live?
In the neigh-borhood.
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Two satellites decided to get married.
The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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