What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, because people who glow in the dark don't need light bulbs.

Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat?

When it's full.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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