What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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In what school do you learn how to greet people?

Hi school.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?

Flood lights!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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