What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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Some people believe that becoming a vegitarian is just a mistake...

A Missed-steak.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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What do you get when you cross a Cocker Spaniel,
a Poodle and a ghost?

A cocker poodle boo.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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