What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb?

100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say "I could've done that."
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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