What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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Why are pirates great singers?

They can hit the high C's!

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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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