What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five: one to handle the bulb and four to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it.
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