What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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What kind of balls do dragons play soccer with?

Fireballs.
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Why does the law society prohibit sex between lawyers and their clients?

To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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Why do you think Civil Disobedience was such a fantastic essay?

Thoreau editing Thorough.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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