What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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What did the man on the beach say to Michael Jackson?

Get out of my sun!
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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