What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but they get three tech. reports out of it.
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How do you make a band stand?

Take their chairs away!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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How does an Eskimo stick his house together?

With igloo!
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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