What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why did the drum take a nap?

It was beat.
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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