What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How do locomotives hear?

Through the engineers.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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