What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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The defendant is accused of putting dynamite into a steer.

Abominable! [A Bomb In a Bull]
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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