What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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What do you call a sad bird?

A bluebird!
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How do you handle dangerous cheese?

Caerphilly.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What did the light bulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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