What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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How many Marxists does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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