What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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A seal walks into a club...
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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There's a fine line between a numerator and denominator.

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