What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many radical feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

That isn't funny!
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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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