What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?

A natural major.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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