What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Humpty Trumpty wants a great wall.

Humpty Trumpty wants Mexico to pay for it all.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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