What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

Six. One to turn the bulb, one for support, and four to relate to the experience.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why did the melon jump into the lake?

It wanted to be a watermelon.
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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Why don't honest people need beds?

They don't lie.
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