What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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