What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What did the rug say to the floor?

Don't move, I've got you covered.
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