What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did one magnet say to the other?

I find you very attractive.
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There's two fish in a tank, and one says "How do you drive this thing?"
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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