What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Where do ghosts buy their food?

At the ghost-ery store!
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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?

A brick layer!
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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