What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

None. The darkness will cause the bulb to change by itself.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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