What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a leech?

After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
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How many archaeologists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One team, but they'll label every piece of the old one, mark its location in the room, and write a detailed description before determining that it was used to store cornmeal.
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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?

Parachute school!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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