What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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How many charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

Three - one to cast the bulb into the outer darkness, and two to catch it when it falls.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What letter can you drink?

T (tea)
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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