What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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When are kids most likely to go to school?

When the door is open.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What's green and loud?

A froghorn.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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