What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

The fish.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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A mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "Uno, dos..." and then

*poof* … he disappeared without a tres!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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