What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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What does new age music sound like played backwards?

New age music.

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What does a skeleton say before dinner?

Bone appetit!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was two tired.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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How did the egg cross the road?

It scrambled across!
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