What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?

Wet.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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A pair of eyebrows walked into a shop. The assistant asked, "Can I help you?"

The eyebrows replied, "no, we are just browsing"
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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