What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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