What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?

. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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