What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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What do you call two ants that run away to get married?

Ant-elopes!
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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