What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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