What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How does a train sneeze?

Ah-choo-choo!
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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