What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why did the Blonde stare at the Orange Juice carton?

Because it said CONCENTRATE.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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How many investment brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How many Yuppies (WASPs) does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call the electrician, and one to mix the drinks.
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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