What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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Red sky at night: shepherd’s delight.

Blue sky at night: day.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What does cheese like to drink?

Morbier
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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