What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you give a lemon in distress?

Lemonade.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 ate 9.
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