What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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A seal walks into a club...
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What time is it when an elephant sits on your bed?

Time to get a new bed
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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How do you make Halloween great again?

By carving a Trumpkin.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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