What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What did the momma buffalo say to her son before he went to school?

Bison
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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