What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why is a skeleton so mean?

He doesn't have a heart.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Where do all the letters sleep?

In the alphabed.
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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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