What has holes all over and holds water?

A sponge!
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How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.
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How does Donald Trump plan on deporting 12 million illegal immigrants?

Juan by Juan.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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