What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Where do soldiers keep their armies?

In their Sleevies!
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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