What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What did Donald Trump say to the birthday boy?

"Let me see your birth certificate".
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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Whats Donald Trump's favorite nation?

Discrimination.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What did the policeman say when his tummy was rumbling?

Stop! You're under a vest.
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