What has one horn and gives milk?

A milk truck.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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What do sea monsters eat for lunch?

Fish and ships.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Where do computers go to dance?

The disk-o!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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