What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How many Executive Producers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Executive Producers don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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What does Santa like to do in the garden?

Hoe, hoe, hoe!
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What's black and white, black and white, black and white and green?

Three skunks fighting over a pickle

First dog: My master calls me Furball. How about you?
Second Dog: My master calls me Sitboy
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