What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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What runs around a yard without moving?

A fence.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion?

Nobody cries when you chop an clarinet into little pieces

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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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