What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How do Vikings send secret messages?

Norse code.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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Why did the calendar write its will?

Its days were numbered.
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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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