What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many Bell Labs vice presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

That's proprietary information. The answer is available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the strawberry call 911?

It was in a jam!
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a story about a broken pencil?

Pointless
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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I just watched a program about beavers.

It was the best dam program I've ever seen.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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