What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What do you call a dog that likes bubble baths?

A shampoodle
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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