What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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How many big black monoliths does it take to change a light bulb?

Sorry, light bulbs are an evolutionary dead end.
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Once there was a family called the Biggers. There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and their son. Who was bigger, Mr. Bigger or his son?

His son, because he's a little Bigger!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What has legs but doesn't walk?

A bed.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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