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What has three letters and starts with gas?
A car
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What do you call a messy hippo?
A hippopota-mess
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?
Taller
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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?
None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?
She kept running away from the ball.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?
By subsisting on titrations.
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What do you call a pig that's been arrested for dangerous driving?
A road hog.
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