What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something!
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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