What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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How many Bratzlaver Hasidim does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They will never find a bulb that burns as brightly as the old one.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.


It's something I could really see myself doing.
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