What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What kind of underwear to reporters wear?

News briefs.
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