What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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What did rural America tell Donald Trump?

You're Hired.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs

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How many Microsoft executives does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Bill Gates will just redefine Darkness® as the industry standard.

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What happened when the lion ate the comedian?

He felt funny.

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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!

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If the red house is on the left,the blue house is on the right,where is the White House?

In Washington, D.C.

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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.

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