What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How do you make a fire with two sticks?

Make sure one is a match!
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What kind of math do Snowy Owls like?

Owlgebra
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