What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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What is a lion's favorite state?

Maine

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How do you open the great lakes?

With the Florida Keys.

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What would happen if pigs could fly?

The price of bacon would go up.

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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.

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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.

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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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