What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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Why did the belt go to jail?

It held up a pair of pants.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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Why did the sun go to school?

To get brighter!
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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Where did the sheep go on vacation?

The baaaahamas
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What do you call a cheese factory in the Middle East?

Cheeses of Nazareth.
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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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