What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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Where is a rabbit's favorite place to eat?

Ihop
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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