What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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How do you get a trombonist off of your porch?

Pay him for the pizza

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I just watched a debate as to which cartoons were better- Disney or Warner Bros.

I have to say it got very animated.
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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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