What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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There were five people under one umbrella. Why didn't they get wet?

It wasn't raining!
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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Trump: "It's not a toupee,

I just found the Bush that Jeb lost."
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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