What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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