What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What do moms dress up as on Halloween?

Mummies!
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"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it,

it was a shitzu."
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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