A car
or
Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.
or
Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
or
Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
or
The cow that jumped over the moon
or
Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
or