What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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Did you hear about Michael Jackson's latest record?

"Feel the World."
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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