What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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How many Holocaust revisionists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None: they just deny that the bulb ever went out in the first place.
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What did the pencil say to the paper?

I dot my i's on you!
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I'm sorry we can't let the elephants back into the public pool.

They keep dropping their trunks.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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