What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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