What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What do basketball players and babies have in common?

They both dribble.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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What is the world's longest punctuation mark?

The hundred yard dash.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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