What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?

Bike helmets don't fit hippos

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What do you get when you plant a frog?

A cr-oak tree.

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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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Why did the student eat her homework?

Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck

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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

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