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What has three letters and starts with gas?
A car
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
The chicken wasn't around yet.
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.
I can hardly contain myself.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
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Why can't hippos ride bicycles?
Bike helmets don't fit hippos
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Why was the ant so confused?
Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
Is that you mommy?
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.
I've lost three days already.
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Why did the drum take a nap?
It was beat.
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