What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What happens when you play Beethoven backwards?

He decomposes.

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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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