What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?

Because deep down, they're really good people.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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What did the flag say to the pole?

Nothing, it just waved.
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires?

At forks in the road.
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