What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?

Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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