What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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What do lawyers wear in court?

Lawsuits.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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What do you call the best butter on the farm?

A goat.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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