What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?

It might be your bicycle.
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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