What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Why do you bring fish to a party?

Because it goes good with chips.
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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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