What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many running-dog lackeys of the bourgeoisie does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to exploit the proletariat, and one to control the means of production!
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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