What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?


Buy a deck of cards.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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