What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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Where does Dorian Gray shop?

Forever 21
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How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Well, first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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