What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car

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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.

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How many astronomers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Astronomers prefer the dark.

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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?

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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.

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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!

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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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What do you call lending money to a bison?

A buff-a-loan

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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Why does a stork stand on one leg?

Because it would fall over if it lifted the other one.

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