What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why doesn't Melania Trump want to be the first lady?

Because she would have to move into a smaller house.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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