What has three letters and starts with gas?

A car
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell?

He wanted to win the no-bell prize!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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How many [ethnics] does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Ten. One to hold the bulb and nine to rotate the ladder.
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What do ghosts use to wash their hair?

Shamboo!
Frankenstein: Witch can you make me a lemonade?
Witch: Poof you are a lemonade!
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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