What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What do Santa's elves drink?

Minnesoda.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.
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Why is tennis such a loud game?

Because each player raises a racquet.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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