What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?

White vans.
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What do you call a baby bear with no teeth?

A gummy bear
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Why do ducks fly south?

Because it's too far to walk!
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What do Michael Jackson and x-boxs have in common?

They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What did Cinderella say to the photographer?

Some day my prints will come.
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