What is a boxer's favorite drink?

Punch.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What did the sub-atmoic ducks say?

Quark!
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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Customer: "Do you have alligator shoes?"

Clerk: "Yes, sir. What size does your alligator wear?"
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