What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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A man goes to a zoo and discovers there is only one animal and it's a dog.

It was a Shih Tzu
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