What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do Donald Trump and a baby have in common?

They both whine alot!
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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Trump: "Foreign Policy?,

if you mess with the United States, there will be hell toupee."

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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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