What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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How do you make a goldfish old?

Take away the g
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What is Donald Trumps campaign slogan?

"A complex world demands complex hair."
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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. They don't like to share the spotlight.
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Any changes will have to be implemented in software.
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