What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Agnostics question whether electricity really exists.
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's 182 feet tall and made out of pepperoni and cheese?

The leaning tower of Pizza.
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Where do fish keep their money?

In a river bank
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