What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Which reindeer likes to clean?

Comet
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What did the mother broom say to the baby broom?

It's time to go to sweep.
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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