What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Where are sharks from?

Finland.
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How many UFO buffs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. You don't believe me do you? I've got photos! See that big blob? Well, just squint your eyes a bit. . . .
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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What do you call a smiling, courteous person at a bar association convention?

The caterer.
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Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball?

Because he had no BODY to go with.
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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