What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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What cell phones do travelling nuns use?

Virgin mobile.
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How many Klingons does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. One to screw it in, and one to stab the other in the back and take all the credit.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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