What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How do you catch a tame bird?

The tame way, unique up on it!
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What room can you not go into?

A mushroom!
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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