What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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Why did the banana go to the hospital?

Because he wasn't peeling well!
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Why didn't the girl take the bus home?

Because her mom would make her take it back.
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How many TV evangelists does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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