What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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How many subscribers to AOL does it take to change a light bulb?

What? You can change light bulbs?
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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