What is a frog's favorite year?

Leap Year
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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How can you tell that a train just went by?

It left its tracks.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb?

Three. One to climb the ladder while the second kicks the ladder out from under her. And the third to say, "I knew that was too high for you dear."
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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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