What is a ghost's favorite fruit?

Booberries!
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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