What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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What is the quietest kind of a dog?

A hush puppy.
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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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How do dinosaurs pay their bills?

With Tyrannosaurus checks.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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