What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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Where would an astronaut park his space ship?

A parking meteor!
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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How do you wake up Lady Gaga?

You Poke her face.

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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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