What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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Why did the dog cross the road twice?

He was trying to fetch a boomerang
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Why did the gardener plant his money?

He wanted his soil to be rich!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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