What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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How many mystery writers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to screw it most of the way in and the other to give it a surprise twist at the end.
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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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How are elephants and trees alike?

They both have trunks
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