What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

To get to the other side.
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What's worse than a centipede with athlete's foot?

A porcupine with split ends
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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