What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What kind of driver has no arms or legs?

A screwdriver.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do Russians use for napkins?

Soviets
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What is up in the air and wobbles?

A jellycopter
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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