What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".
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How many bass players does it take to change a light bulb?

One. But the guitarist has to show him first.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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Who makes the best cake on a baseball team?

The batter.
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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