What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself.

The blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What did the Cinderella fish wear to the ball?

Glass flippers.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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