What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why did the elephant leave the circus?

He was tired of working for peanuts.
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What did the little boy's mom say when he asked her to buy him shoes for gym?

"Tell Jim to buy his own shoes".
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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When should you buy a bird?

When it's going cheep!

Did you hear the one about the crow and the telephone pole?
He wanted to make a long distance caw.
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How do you make a hot dog stand?

Steal its chair.
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