What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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