What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the boy put candy under his pillow?

Because he wanted sweet dreams.
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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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What does Melania see in Donald Trump?

"Ten billion dollars and high cholesterol!"
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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