What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a red car?
A red carnation.
What do you call a country where everyone has to drive a pink car?
A pink car-nation.
What would the country be called if everyone in it lived in their cars?

An in-car-nation.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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