What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon!
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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