What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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