What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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