What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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What do dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common?

They're both extinct.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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