What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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What pine has the longest needles?

A porcupine.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.

Senator.
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How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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