What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why do pandas like old movies?

Because they are black and white.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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What's a puppy's favorite kind of pizza?

Pupperoni.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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