What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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How many art directors does it take to screw in a light bulb

Does it have to be a light bulb? I've got this neat candle holder...
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day.

Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.

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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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How many teenage girls does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One, but she'll be on the phone for five hours telling all her friends about it.
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