What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.
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What did the picture say to the wall?

I've been framed.
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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