What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How are an apple and a lawyer alike?

They both look good hanging from a tree.
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I used to work in a shoe recycling shop.

It was sole destroying.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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