What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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What kind of eggs does a wicked chicken lay?

Deviled eggs.
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