What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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I rang up British Telecom, I said, "I want to report a nuisance caller",

he said "Not you again".

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What is a baby's motto?

If at first you don't succeed, cry and cry again!
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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