What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What is Donald Trumps biggest dilemma now that he's president?

Finding a cabinet position for the thing on his head!
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What did the porcupine say to the cactus?

Is that you mommy?
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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When is a car not a car?

When it turns into a garage.
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What creature is smarter than a talking parrot?

A spelling bee!
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