What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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What did one owl say to the other owl?

Happy Owl-ween!
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How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it's already burned out).
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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