What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What kind of dog has a bark but no bite?

A Dogwood
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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