What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a crate of ducks?

A box of quackers.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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