What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Two satellites decided to get married.

The wedding wasn't much, but the reception was incredible!
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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Name four men that are in a rock group together but none of them sing nor play music...

Mt Rushmore. They're a rock group.. it's a rock...group
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I met a Dutch girl with inflatable shoes last week, phoned her up to arrange a date

but unfortunately she'd popped her clogs.

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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