What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What do you get when you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?

A pineapple!
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What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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