What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What do you call a loony spaceman?

An astronut.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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