What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What room does a ghost not need?

A living room!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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