What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What did the carrot say to the rabbit?

Do you want to grab a bite?
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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