What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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How many Wardrobe people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

"Nobody said I needed doubles on that!"
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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What happened when the monster ate the electric company?

He was in shock for a week.
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