What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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Why did the baseball player bring a rope to the game?

Because he wanted to tie the score!
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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