What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Where do horses live?

In the neigh-borhood.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert?

No thank you, I'm stuffed.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of jam can you not eat?

A traffic jam.
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