What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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How many polite New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Both of them.
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Why did the chicken cross the clothing store?

To get to the other size!
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What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?

It gave a little wine
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How many bikers does it take to change a light bulb?

It takes two. One to change the bulb, and the other to kick the switch.
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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