What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do you get when you cross a stream and a brook?

Wet feet.
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What's in the middle of nowhere?

The letter H.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What did the snowman say to the customer?

Have an ice day!
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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