What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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How many IBM PC owners does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but she/he'll have to go out and buy the light bulb adaptor card first, which is extra.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where do sheep get their hair cut?

At the baa-baa shop.
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many chiropractors does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes six visits.
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