What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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What did the frog say when he heard "time flies when you are having fun?"

Time is fun when you're having flies
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have any guts!
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What goes up and down but never moves?

Stairs.
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