What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What do aliens on the metric system say?

Take me to your liter.
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How many IBM engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just let Marketing explain that "Dead Bulb" is a feature.
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How many fire safety guys dose it take to screw in a light bulb?

One -- but it's an 8 hour minimum.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Why can't you say a joke while standing on ice?

Because it might crack up!
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