What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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A jump-lead walks into a bar.

The barman says "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.' The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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