What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow?

A watch dog.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What's the difference between a tuba and a vacumn cleaner?

You have to turn one of them on before it sucks.

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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What's the definition of a minor second?

Two flutes playing in unison.

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