What is a shark's favorite sandwich?

Peanut butter and jellyfish.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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How many Mensans does it take to tell Mensa light bulb jokes?

Five. One to tell the joke and one to get it.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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