What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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Why did the poultry farmer become a school teacher?

So he could grade his eggs.
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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