What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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What do you call a snowman in the desert?

A puddle!
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Why did Mozart kill his chickens?

Because they always ran around going "Bach! Bach! Bach!"

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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