What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What's the difference between a piano and a tuna?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna

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What was the farmer doing on the other side of the road?

He was catching all the chickens!
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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What do you get from a bad-tempered shark?

As far away as possible.
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