What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley.
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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I have a friend who is a Limo driver . But he has had no clients for two years.

So he has nothing to chauffeur it !
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How does a bird with a broken wing manage to land safely?

With its sparrowchute.
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Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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What do you call a chicken in the 1960's?

A funky chicken.
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