What is a spaceman's favorite chocolate?

A marsbar!
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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Why did the skeleton cross the road?

To get to the body shop.
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What do you call a calf after it's six months old?

Seven months old.
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What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo?

Big holes all over Australia!
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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When does New Year's Day come before Christmas Day?

Every year!
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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How many gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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