What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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What did one hair say to the other?

It takes two to tangle!
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How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.
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How many gorillas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Only one, but it sure takes a shitload of light bulbs!
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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What do you call a mad elephant?

An earthquake.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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There were 10 cats in a boat and one jumped out. How many were left?

None, because they were copycats
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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