What is a tornado's favorite game?

Twister!
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Went to the paper shop -

it had blown away.
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What do you call a cow that twitches?

Beef jerky
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How many alumnae of (sorority name) does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to change it and one to act as chaperone.
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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