What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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What`s black & white & red all over?

An embarrased mime!
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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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