What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you call a man with a rubber toe?

Roberto.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you call a dog with a Rolex?

A watch dog.
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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