What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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How do you make an egg laugh?

Tell it a yolk.
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How many members of the United Church of Canada does it take to change a light bulb?

How dare you be so intolerant! So what if the light bulb has chosen an alternative light-style?
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What is a snowman's favorite breakfast?

Frosted Flakes!
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What goes 99 thump,99 thump,99 thump?

A centipede with a wooden leg.
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What do you call the security guards outside of Samsung.

The guardians of the galaxy!
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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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I tried water polo but my horse drowned.
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