What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why did the cookie go to the Doctor?

Because he was feeling crumby.
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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What kind of cars do cats drive?

Catillacs
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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