What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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How do you know the economy is only getting worse?

On the latest episode of "Celebrity Apprentice", Donald Trump fired himself!
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I'll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase.

I can hardly contain myself.

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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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What's the name of the archeologist that works at Scotland Yard?

Sherlock Bones.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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There are 10 kinds of people in the world.

Those who read binary and those who don't.
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