What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

Because he was caught tweeting on a test.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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Why did the boy take a ladder to school?

He wanted to go to high school!
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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