What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What do you do if your cat swallows your pencil?

Use a pen.
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What robs you while you're in the bathtub?

A robber ducky.
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Why did the cucumber call 911?

It was in a pickle!
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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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