What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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What kind of dress can't be worn?

Address.
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