What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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A lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins,

What a turtle disaster

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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What is the opposite of a restaurant?

A workaraunt.
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What kind of table has no legs.

A multiplication table.
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What kind of cats like to go bowling?

Alley cats.
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What are the 10 letters of the pirate alphabet?

Aye, Aye, Arr and the Seven C's
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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