What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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How many accountants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

What kind of answer did you have in mind?
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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I was having dinner with Garry Kasporov (world chess champion) and there was a check tablecloth.

It took him two hours to pass me the salt.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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