What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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How do you know Donald Trump is talking to you?

Cause your the only one Hair.
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Why should you never tell a secret in a corn field?

Because there are too many ears.
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What do you call a thieving alligator?

A crookodile
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What part of a fish weighs the most?

The scales.
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Why did the carpenter fall asleep on the job?

He was board.
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Why did the lamb cross the road?

To get to the baaaaarber shop
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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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