What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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What do you call a song sung in an automobile?

A cartoon.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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What lies on its back, one hundred feet in the air?

A dead centipede.
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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I backed a horse last week at ten to one.

It came in at quarter past four.

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What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?

A try and try and try-ceratops
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Why did the news reporter go to the ice cream parlor?

Because she wanted to get a good scoop.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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