What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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Where do you get whales weighed?

At the Whale-weigh station.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the football coach go to the bank?

To get his quarterback.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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