What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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How many efficiency experts does it take to replace a light bulb?

None. Efficiency experts replace only dark bulbs.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do whales eat?

Fish and ships.
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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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Went to the corner shop -

bought 4 corners.

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What 7 letters did Lizzy say when she opened the refrigerator and found it empty?

O I C U R M T
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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