What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny?

A chili dog on a bun.
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What's the difference between Donald Trump and Ronald Reagan?

If Trump gets Alzheimers his IQ will go up.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many punk rockers does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and seventeen on the guest list.
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Why did the thief take a shower?

He wanted to make a clean getaway!
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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Whats the difference between Terrorists and Accordion players?

Terrorists have sympathizers

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