What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What makes music on your hair?

A head band!

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How many French Horn players does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he/she will spend hours checking for technical problems.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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Which 2 food groups make up Donald Trumps diet?

Meat and Democrats!
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What does Donald Trump say when he can't find his Viagra?

"The erection is rigged!"
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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