What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How do you get a cello player to play in tune?

Tell him the key signature has 8 sharps.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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What is a pirate's favorite's fish?

A swordfish
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What did Donald Trump do before criticizing illegals?

He made sure his pools were clean and his lawns were mowed.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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