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What is at the end of everything?
The letter G.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?
Orange Is The New Black.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?
Call a chairman.
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What do you call a lawyer gone bad.
Senator.
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How many [ethnic] gods does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two. One to hold the bulb and the other to rotate the planet.
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What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?
Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?
Because people are dying to get in!
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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
On the bottom.
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?
Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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