What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How does Donald Trump intend to spice up the Republican Convention?

By relocating it to a casino!
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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How many sound engineers does it take to change a light bulb

None, sound engineers don't do lights
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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How many music teachers does it take to screw in a light bulb??

None. music teachers can't afford lightbulbs.
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