What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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I went down the local supermarket, I said, "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it",

he said, "Those are pickled onions".

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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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What did one egg say to the other egg?

Let's get crackin'!
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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