What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Where do mice park their boats?

At the hickory dickory dock.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What goes on and on and has an i in the middle?

An onion
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How many junkies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

``Oh wow, is it like dark, man?''
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What is a tree's favorite drink?

Root beer.
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a scared train?

A fright train!
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