What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Some lettuce, an egg, and a faucet had a race. What was the result?

The lettuce came in ahead, the egg got beat and the faucet is still running.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What do you call two banana peels?

Slippers.
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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