What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I deer
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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.
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What was the first animal in space?

The cow that jumped over the moon
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start!
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How many football players does it take to change a light bulb?

The entire team! And they all get a semester's credit for it!
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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How many grips does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two: One to hold it, one to hammer it in.
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