What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I'm on a whiskey diet.

I've lost three days already.

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How many assholes does it take to change a light bulb?

None; assholes never see the light anyway.
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What do you call a musician with a college degree?

Night manager at McDonalds

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What's green and flies as fast as a speeding bullet?

Super Pickle!
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Why don't aliens eat clowns?

Because they taste funny!
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How many editors of Poor Richard's Almanac does it take to replace a light bulb?

"Many hands make light work."
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Why did the man take a pencil to bed?

Because he wanted to draw the curtains!
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