What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Where do you go to find a million story building?

You go to the Library!
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Why didn't the rooster cross the road?

Because it was chicken.
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How many sheep do you need to make a sweater?

I don't know. I didn't think sheep could knit
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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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