What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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How many Anglicans does it take to change a lightbulb?

A whole synod. One to move that the bulb be changed while the others debate until the room spins.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What did the laywer name his daughter?

Sue.
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What do bees do with their honey?

They cell it.
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How do you keep a skunk from smelling?

Plug its nose.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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