What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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What do you call a movie about Donald Trump, Bernie Madoff, and Kenneth Lay?

The League of Extraordinary Con Men.
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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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What did the dog say to the flea?

Stop bugging me
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If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?

H2O cubed.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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