What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm and says:

"Pint please, and one for the road."

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What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta
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