What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I swear, the other day I bought a packet of peanuts, and on the packet it said "may contain nuts." Well, YES! That's what I bought the buggers for!

You'd be annoyed if you opened it and a socket set fell out!"

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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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What can you put in a barrel to make it lighter?

Holes.
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Why did the cow go to outer space?

To visit the milky way.
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The new band called 1023MB.

They haven't had any gigs yet
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