What is at the end of everything?

The letter G.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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How many Stuntmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Five. One to screw it in and four to tell him how bitchin' he looked doing it.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.
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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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Why can't a bicycle stand up?

Because it's two tired!
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