What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well,

I was amazed, I never knew they worked.

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What did the Donald tell an illegal immigrant who was trying to put out a fire at Trump Tower?

No way Hose A.
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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What cheese do you use to coax a bear out of the woods with?

Camembert.
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Three people were in a boat. They all fell off. Only two people ended up with wet hair. Why didn't the other person's hair get wet?

Because he was bald!
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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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